Black Tie or Social Black Eye
Your deadline for getting fitted for that tux is looming like black clouds on the horizon. You dig the invite from the console of your car to read it one last time.
Black Tie Optional,….. Optional? Whose option is it anyway, you ask yourself. If it is up to you that old faithful blue pinstripe with the red paisley tie will suffice. Let’s look at a few guidelines that will make your decision less difficult. The invite will tell you most of what you need to know. The question is are you willing to accept the message being delivered. Allow me to spell out what might be a fashion word scramble.
Black Tie Required – Simple. If only all invites could be this clear. Wear a tuxedo with a Black Tie or stay home. Forget the tropical bowtie/cummerbund set you caught on sale. This is not the event. Very little latitude given in this type of invitation.
Black Tie Preferred – Preferred? O.K. it is not an absolute must. Think in terms of percentages. If it says preferred how many male guests will not be wearing a tuxedo and do you want to place yourself in that minority group. This type of invite means you will not be thrown out but you will not be closing the party down either. The pressure you will feel by not wearing a tuxedo will be just under the pressure at a multi-level marketing meeting.
Black Tie Invited – This means you have been invited and your tuxedo has also been extended an invitation. Feel comfortable in knowing the host will be in a tuxedo and the majority of the guests. Unless you want to be the misfit, you guessed it, wear the tuxedo.
Black Tie Optional – The dreaded option! You have a 50/50 chance of not feeling out of place. I always consider it easier to dress down that dress up. So, wear the tuxedo. In the event you end up at a rocking pool party afterwards you will have plenty of options. If you do not wear the tuxedo you may never get invited to that rocking pool party. The option is yours. So, the verdict is in. You are herby sentenced to look fashionable for a period of four to six hours. Your next question is what type and style of tuxedo will be appropriate for this event. This might best be determined by the type and time of the event you will be attending. Consider the material below:
Any event when the invitation reads, Formal, Black Tie, Black Tie Invited, or Black Tie Optional, a tuxedo is a must. The following list of functions might help. A Ball or any type of a formal dance, any grand art opening such as the symphony, ballet or opera, a formal dinner party, and I would recommend that you wear a tuxedo if dining at a formal restaurant.
In the event you have been invited to a wedding and you have no role that requires you to walk down the isle escorting someone, you will probably be safe wearing a dark suit and tie. The exception to this will be if you are attending an evening wedding and the invitation clearly states Black Tie.
Now that your attire selection has been made, allow me to offer you some insight with respect to style. Stay basic, fashion flair may look good on runways of New York or Milan, but the event you will be attending will not require you to be a fashion setter. Avoid making colorful or outlandish statements, it is more comfortable to people watch than be watched by people.
Use the same common sense principles in selecting a tuxedo that you would in selecting a business suit. Double breasted coats work best on slimmer men. Extra cloth will not hide that winters coat of accumulated calories. Make sure the fit allows movement. Breathing will be necessary at your formal event. Wear a shirt that has room for at least one finger between the collar and the neck. Coat sleeves should end at the wrist bone. Pants should crease with the ends running about mid-way of your shoes. While we are discussing shoes, because your tuxedo shoes will be patent leather and shiny does not offer them the opportunity to do bodily harm, find a pair that is comfortable. Remember pain is optional.
The dreaded black tie drama can be broken down to eliminate the heartache. Hopefully, this guide will offer you insight. If your situation remains a mystery, consult a professional. Most formal wear experts love to share their knowledge of protocol and offer their knowledge free of charge.
Myles Castello
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