Sure your bride-to-be has handled most of the details, but do not think you are going to get past the wedding ceremony scathe free. She will surely need your involvement in selecting gifts for the groomsmen. The majority of the groomsmen will be your friends with a token brother of hers so you should know their interests, hobbies or fields of interest best.
The crucial decisions are already in the box, dress picked out, formal wear selected, flowers, cake, chapel, reception location, and honeymoon planned. You may or may not have played the strategic analyst you had imagined in selecting each of the categories. Your moment to shine is upon you. Sure you could opt for the cuff link set, engraved money clip, or a host of other forgettable gifts. Why not go out in style. Try a break from tradition, I present you with an alternative route to follow. Take this opportunity and reveal to your friends and future family that they are a cared for. Offer evidence their friendship is not taken for granted. Welcome them to your big day and leave them with a gift of remembrance.
Let us focus on your gifting responsibility in three different areas. Gifts to your bride, gifts to your groomsmen, and might I recommend a gift for your future in-laws. You will have no need to win over your friends. They have been a staple in your life for years. Your bride’s family, like them or not, well, you are stuck with them. How you pull this off might just determine how your wedding day is remembered by those closest to you. Give them something to remember after the ceremony. Surely you have heard it is the thought that counts. This is not a monetary exemption for you to use at the local dollar store to say thanks for those closest to you for taking time out of their busy schedules to be in your wedding. It is a chance for you to offer a personalized thank you.
Gifts for your bride, sure you gave her love, dependability, trust and a future. How about letting her know how much you appreciate all that she means to you. As much as this is a marriage of two people in love, this is her big day. Do not fight the system. That is a fact of life. Offer her a chance to recognize she made the right decision. Present her with an overwhelming sense of relief. Make sure she walks down the aisle and away from that little black book of her own knowing her doubts and last minute fears have been conquered.
Personalize your gifts. Reveal the level of emotion you hold for her. Offer her a glimpse of why you decided to spend your remaining days on earth with her. why you are offering her a token of appreciation will be more meaningful than the gift. Ten years from now that ring on her finger will be just another piece of jewelry. The inscription “MSG 2005” will remind her of the conversation you had when you gave her the ring. Knowing you fell in love with her at Madison Square Garden at the Brooks & Dunn concert will overshadow the cost of the ring.
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On the honeymoon wrap a red ribbon and bow around the journal you kept while you were dating. Serve her coffee in bed with your memoirs on the platter and let her know you are going for a jog. Ten pots of coffee could not warm her soul like the first mentioning of her name in your journal. Leave her a note on a bottle of wine saying not to be opened until our first rainy night together. Watch her become a tornado chaser. How many dozens of roses in a glass vase do you think your wife has received prior to meeting you? Present to her with no explanation, a bouquet of tulips wrapped in a sock with the toes burnt off. Quell her dumb founded look, moments later explaining what she holds is the result of the lightning that struck when you first kissed. Place a framed portrait of you pushing a shopping cart on her nightstand. Let her know without her you would live under a bridge with portable housing. On your first day trip, leave her a list of items needed and place on top of a backpack. The intrigue and mystery of her unknown destination will be so much more prominent than the event.
Should I continue with expressions of love for ones that do not know any better? It is all in the presentation. Sure you could buy your way into her heart, but she knows your financial status. She needs the connection, she longs for the reassurance that your sudden entrance into my life mirrored a 9.5 on the Richter and the aftershocks continue.
O.K. moving forward to the guys, what can you get for the groomsmen? Forget the all to familiar dust collectors. They have enough cuff links and money clips to piece together an abstract sculpture. Give them an experience, preferably as a group. Sequential seats at the next hockey game or a ride behind the wheel at a NASCAR track. If this is out of the budget, a fifty dollar gift certificate to the local go cart track. Try thinking of something that will be a getaway for them, a weekend cabin retreat for ten, a canoe trip, guided fishing trip, or a day at the dude ranch. Regardless of the season, location, or activity they will enjoy the time spent together in honor of sharing the experience of your wedding. Make sure the trip planner includes a video of your wife thanking them for being a part of your special day.
Last, do not forget your future in-laws. They probably have emptied a bank account paying for the wedding their daughter has always dreamed of. Do you have any idea the stress they have just endured? There is somewhat of a relief at the conclusion of the festivities. Think about sending your in-laws away for a relaxing, weekend getaway after the wedding. That should earn enough points to get you by for the first few months anyway! Your bride will especially appreciate your efforts in doing something nice in return for her parents.
Myles Castello
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